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Choosing Cheerfulness

March 10, 2009

Something I have been thinking and reading about lately is how we greet our husbands.  This seems like such a small detail, but I believe it can make a huge difference in your husband’s day…and yours.   This includes when your hubby comes home, or you see him first thing in the morning, but I want to focus particularly on phone calls.

Many couples I know talk to each other several times during the day.  When your husband calls you, is your voice cheerful?  Do you let him know you are happy to see him or hear from him, or do you start in with a litany of complaints?  

This can happen to anyone, but it can be especially hard for stay at home moms.  Your husband may be the only grown-up voice you hear all day, and when he calls it’s tempting to let him know just how hard you’re working.  Isn’t that why we complain, after all?  I think deep down inside, we think our husbands are going to say…Wow!  Poor thing, she’s having a crappy day. She works so hard!  I sure do appreciate her!  I should take her somewhere special!

I doubt this is the case for most guys.  Instead, they’ll probably feel annoyed and even resentful.  And who looks forward to coming home later when he already knows his wife is in a bad mood?  Proverbs says that a nagging wife is like a constant dripping. 

Recently, Eric got us a new phone plan that included texting.  After we spent a couple days texting back and forth, he asked me at home, “How do you like texting?’

“It’s okay,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s nice.  We don’t have to worry about what’s wrong, or whatever.”

Oops.  A frequent question during our calls has been, “What’s wrong?”  Eric will hear the distraction or moodiness in my voice and for some reason that question drives me nuts.  So I will say, “Nothing,” with an annoyed tone, or worse tell him just how frustrating my day has been.  When he made that comment about texting, I knew it was time to change that habit.

I said at the beginning that this can make a huge difference in your husband’s day, and yours too.  Once I decided to put a smile on my face so my husband could hear it in my voice, something happened.  I didn’t just brighten his day; I began to feel better myself! 

Not that I had been grumping around in a moody state all day.  But the truth is, Eric is the one person I want to tell when the kids are acting up, or I have a headache, or a friend has been rude, or the dishwasher isn’t working, or whatever.

I began to hold my tongue and reminded myself to look at the good side of things so I could present a happy picture to my husband when he called. 

Over time, looking at the good side for Eric’s sake, turned into…looking at the good side.  The things I was whining about weren’t really all that bad.  A grumpy kid is still a healthy kid I love and adore.  A rude friend is still a friend that I am blessed to have.  A sink full of dirty dishes suggests we’ve had plenty of food to eat.

Ideas for Today: 

When your husband calls, put a smile on your face before you say hello.  It helps! 

First, ask how he is and discern if you can do anything to brighten his day.

Right now, think of something great about your life so you are ready to thank your husband next time he calls and asks how you are.

 

Do you have a tip for greeting your husband cheerfully?  I’d love to hear it!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. mamala permalink
    March 11, 2009 5:35 am

    Yes–Whenever I call Randy, or he calls me–I greet him with,”Hey Handsome!”
    To which he always responds, ” I am handsome, ain’t I?!”
    Then we both laugh.
    I must say–that out of almost 27 years of multiple calls made to my husband–many when he is in the thick of some pretty heavy physical chore, or rushing to keep lower Mentone from flooding, or breaking his knuckles on an immovable engine, no matter what–every time he hears my voice–he cheerfully greets me. Should I get the rare–slightly hurried–not quite so worshipful–Hello? uttered breathlessly–I then know that he may be a little bit occupied, and I make my call quick. But even then–and it really seldom happens–he will explain to me later in the day what was going on at that moment–What a guy.
    He has taught me how to be a better wife–by being my most grand husband.

  2. turtlemomma permalink
    March 11, 2009 8:09 am

    Aww Randy IS such a cool guy. 😉

    I sometimes (im not so good at it) have my kids all gather round daddy when he gets home with a big hello.

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